So...I had my dinner with Orasio last night. The food was delicious. I even got to have some authentic cannolli (chocolate and ricotta) that just about made my night. It was interesting to meet an ex-lawyer who is now an artist and also enjoys observing human interactions. Kinda felt a bit like looking in the mirror minus the art part.
In Prague, the guys at the desk had out some mystery methods book to seducing women. It was comical to me. Maybe some of the things in there might work on a woman if she is young or naïve enough but for myself or any of my friends, no way jose. They didn't seem to want to accept that...men like to believe they can control or influence women. The truth is, the minute a woman meets a man, whether consciously or subconsciously, she decides where she will allow this interaction to go. Be it a casual fling (including 1 night stand), an attempt at a relationship, nothing at all, or a potential platonic friendship, the woman is, as President Bush said it, the decider. A man can say or do what he wants, puff his chest, talk some game...but sorry boys, if you get some, it really has almost nothing to do with any of that and, if you don't get any, just drop it and leave it alone, you're not going to win. Orasio, in telling one of his many stories, actually touched on this same idea so I thought it would be a good time to fill you all in.
It's always been this way...and it is the same with most mammal species as well. Our evolutionary goal is to reproduce and pass on our genes. Although now, women often hold off to allow them time to educate themselves and mature and men hold off so they don't have to pay child support to too many baby mamas, dating and mating is still influenced by that base goal. Females have a limited ability to reproduce. They carry the offspring for months and cannot produce more during that time. For that reason, females have to be choosy and, evolutionarily, they don't need to be wasting time with some guy whose genes and means don't meet their criteria. Men just want to spread their seed everywhere and don't understand why, sometimes, women just don't dig them. That's not to say that a man might not be a little pickier about who he "commits" to rather than sleeps with or that a woman might not choose to have a one night stand with a guy who is not prime material...it all just boils down to the fact that women run the show. (I can also tie in why men act like "players" with these same evolutionary principles but I'll save it for another time).
And I digress...back to my accomplishments for today:
I went to the Vatican (FYI, water and umbrellas are ok, knives are not) and did not get struck by lightning. Given my work with planned parenthood and my general views on religion, I was sure today would be the day. Other than an odd moment in St. Peter's Basilica where I started to hear 3rd Saturday protesters praying the rosary, I got in and out unscathed. It was all beautiful and definitely worth the visit and excess clothing (shoulders covered and no pants/skirts above the knees). In the Sistine Chapel and through the exit I had a moment that made me want to scream. In the room with Michelangelo's fresco (is the plural "s" at the end or "es?") they ask that you are silent and take no photographs. I am not Catholic or even Christian and I followed those rules out of respect for the building, it's history, and those around me BUT everyone else was shouting and photographing and I'll bet you 99% of them were Catholic/Christian. Then, the exit was a maze that just kept putting you in shop after shop after shop. Really? The Vatican needs to make a profit that badly?
It's the part of religion that I will never understand. Although I have intense problems with inflicting or imposing one's religion on others, I strongly believe that each person, should they have religious beliefs, should be true to them and not just follow it because someone told them to. (i.e. the 1 and only time I observed Passover I felt like all I did was go on a no-carb diet for a week...the connection and meaning wasn't there for me so I didn't do it again). So if you are Catholic/Christian and you can't respect the seriousness of the Vatican and etc enough to shut up and put your camera away for 5 to 10 mins, reevaluate. And, if you are the Vatican, and all you care about is trying to get me to buy a trinket or a video about the Vatican, reevaluate. Thank you. *getting off my soap box*
I then went to a Lonely Planet recommended pizzeria. I'd been avoiding them because you can't just order a slice and, as 1 person, I didn't think it would look right for me to order/eat an entire pizza. Well, accomplishment #2 - I ate a whole (equal to about 4-5 slices), delicious, party in my mouth, tomato sauce, buffalo mozzarella, basil, and olive oil pizza. And a glass of wine. And a liter of water. And a cappuccino with a smiley face. Perfecto!
My waiter, who I named Mario, was adorable and spent most of my cappuccino drinking time filling me in on the history of Rome, telling me to go to St. Petersburg, Russia (he's never been), informing me about the Ming Dynasty, and encouraging me to watch more discovery channel and national geographic. Loved it.
Next, I changed into the above mentioned outfit and headed out to the Cemetery of the Capuchins, basically a crypt built and decorated with bones of friars and other important religious folks. Creepy. The woman at the door cracked me up though. She asked if I was alone and then said, "Good! No Italian husband for you!"
Finally, my big accomplishment for the day...*drum roll please*...I went to a Sephora and bought the necessary tools to fix my feet. No more dirt, no more rough heels, brand spankin new purple toe nail polish. I'd say it's about a 98% improvement and, once my arms recover, I'll get that last 2%. Phew!
And now I'm thinking it's gelato time. It's about 6 p.m. over here and I've already decided I'm having gelato for dinner, strolling around, coming back, taking a shower and packing my stuff. I have to leave for the airport by 6 a.m. tomorrow to meet my parents in London. Yay mom and dad (and 4 days til Amsterdam)!!!
And btw...the nasty neighbors in this hotel are still here. I don't know what they do in the bathroom but it makes me want to vomit. I stole my own roll of toilet paper because they kept soaking them in who knows what and all I can say is that I hope none of them shower before I do tonight because it's clean now but certainly was not clean when they got done with it this a.m. Also...one of them definitely has a TB cough. Fucking nasty (excuse my language).
See y'all in London!
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