I spent my last day in Madrid quite leisurely. Woke up, ran in the park, did some yoga in my hostel room, and then made my way to El Prado. I have another confession...art museums make me sleepy. I wish with all my heart that I had the appreciation for art that others do. I try, I recognize the skill and beauty of artwork but I'm more likely to get lost in a history or archaeology museum (where I can read and learn and be nerdy) or be able to differentiate between the sounds of music producers than I am painters or sculptors. And, honestly, there is not enough sunshine in any museum for my liking.
So after my 2 hour stint in El Prado I decided I was going to have a big meal. I have not been eating enough. Not on purpose but between running all over and the time of meals here (which I'm still not 100% used to) I find myself getting shakes from hunger or realizing my dos cervezas at the bar are doubling as my dinner.
It was just about time for the Brazil v Holland game and I decided to find a tapas bar to eat this huge meal and watch the game. I wandered for about 30 minutes. One place was too empty, the next too full and intimidating to my solo self, the next didn't have enough food options. I finally found a place, found a table directly in front of the TV and ordered a feast of gazpacho, goat cheese & honey, empanada de carne, a cerveza and, as the game proceeded, 2 glasses of vino blanco.
My waiter was quite good looking but spoke almost zero English. When I got up to pay we chatted a bit and I learned that he is Hansel from DR. Hansel suggested that I return later in the night around midnight to speak with him and practice my Spanish. He was, however, working until 2a.m. As my night unfolded (I'll get there in a minute) I decided not to join Hansel because, as you also probably assume, he did not just want to give me Spanish lessons at 2a.m. Poor Hansel, I hope he's not still waiting.
I did consider at least going back to the bar. I've gotten VERY good at saying "no" (it's the same in English) and "no you can't come with me/walk me home" en espanol and figured the bar was at least a safe place. But then I met the Egyptian...
Last night was the start of Madrid's gay pride festival. I decided to go walk around and see how it compares to the states. It was early still (about 10:30 p.m) and not too packed. I learned the gay jai ho/macarena (which involves taking your shirt off although I was not drunk and decided not to venture there). I was about to head over to meet Hansel when 2 men stopped to talk to me. One spoke mostly French and the other spoke a bit of English and then, for me, predominantly Spanish. I caught neither of their names althouh I do know that the Egyptian's facebook name is Moja Ayad.
At first it was nice to have company and test my Spanish skills some more. But then Egypt started touching my hands and my shoulders and my neck...nothing inappropriate per se but enough that it made me uncomfortable. Not to mention he whispered "por que eres guapa?" in my ear multiple times. By the time I escaped and made sure he wasn't following me all I wanted to do was bathe in antibacterial gel and go home. Bleck.
I got to my hostel and thought about men and women and the differences in intentions and communication styles. I'm not known for my successful relationships so perhaps I am not an expert but here go some examples (and advice for men)from my own experiences and some anonymous friends.
If a woman is chewing food, it is not the time to try to stick your tongue in her mouth, especially if she has given NO signs that she would enjoy that even were she not chewing. (No, having drinks 2 nights in a row is not a sure sign that physical contact is wanted).
If you've just met a woman, learn what an appropriate amount of touching is. Dancing (read: NOT sex on the dance floor) is probably ok. Teaching the woman the bachata, also ok. Repeatedly stroking arms/hands/neck/back is CREEPY. Smacking her ass as you leave the club, not ok. Trying to sneak a small kiss, maybe ok depending on the woman's interest level (which grown men should be able to judge - if you can't, you're too drunk). Trying to all out make-out with a woman you've just met in public, especially if she already said no to your advances, not ok!
Most women do not respond to dirty picture texts the way men do. Some may choose to send and receive them but it's probably more entertainment than going to lead to any sort of hot and botheredness (new word, yes?). Also, if you think a woman might be topless sun bathing and ask her for pictures and she says no, that's her right. It does not give you grounds to call her a "bitch."
If you invite a woman over for lunch and dessert, there is a good chance, unless you have already been intimate, that she is going to think you mean chocolate cake and not "dessert." Maybe that's just me...?
The construction worker who yells out inappropriate "cat calls" to women as they walk by is not "complimenting" her.
And, these may be TMI but I feel the need to include them. Talking about "pre-cum" is NOT sexy. (Seriously, WHY??? I can't even stand typing that!) It just brings up memories of high school health class and the chance of getting pregnant or diseases. Finally, if you make advances on a woman and she says no, phrases expressing how badly you want to put "it" or stick "it" inside her are not going to increase your chances.
Respect people, respect!
Sorry, I digress...so now I'm on the train to Valencia for my beach weekend. I've learned that all beaches there are topless-ok and some are nude. Should be interesting. Yon Sanchez Paisal and I had a talk about how he felt with his previous girlfriends going topless...apparently not all men love the idea. Also, for you American men with Playboy Mansion fantasies...picture more like a women's locker room and less like centerfold central.
Hopefully I can do something like rent a bike or find a good place to watch world cup games (Spain plays tonight) or anything at all to occupy my mind this weekend. I'm at the point I get to on all vacations where I miss my scheduled life back home. I miss being busy. Hell, I even miss working. I keep saying "breathe, relax, let go" in my head during down time rather than constantly seek a way to fill the space but that's still a work in progress, maybe even more than my spanish speaking.
No comments:
Post a Comment