This Halloween I'm dressing up as a backpacker

I just wanted to write a quick blog before I abandon my phone for a couple days again when we head out sailing and SCUBA diving on the Whitsundays. This is big for me people: no email, no internet...perhaps I can break my blackberry addiction. Ha. Probably not.

Also big for me: not dressing up for Halloween. It's my favorite holiday and I haven't missed it in years but instead of partying I'll be sleeping below deck on a large maxi sail boat. It's ok...I can be a backpacker...or SCUBA diver and I'll just have to make up for it next year.

Anyway, we left Rainbow Beach after our camping adventure on Fraser Island and headed north yesterday. We stopped in the town of 1770 which was founded in, yes you guessed it, 1770. It was gorgeous but no SCUBA diving was to be found so we moved on. We ended up in a tiny beach town called Emu Park and found a fabulously clean place to stay that was also having an $8 Friday night bbq. That may have been the best $8 I've spent in Australia not to mention the totally reasonable $3.50 glasses of wine. And what's better than an $8 bbq? An $8 bbq with frogs hopping out of your barrel table. One seemed to really like Evan's leg but I was not that lucky.

I met a couple of women (Sara and Sara who, despite everyone asking them, are not sisters) from England after the bbq and chatted with them for a while. They are 26 years old and agreed with my assessment that the east coast of Australia is super young and all about partying. It made me feel like less of a grandma and was actually super nice to have some fun female wine drinking companions for a bit.

Today I took a nice morning run along the beach and somehow managed to get slightly lost on my way back. I'm not sure how given there were only 2 roads to run on but I found my way and got an extra 15 mins of a workout.

We took off and drove to Airlie Beach. Evan let me drive today. It was my 2nd time on the other side of the road. The 1st was for about 5 mins to make a beer run. This was a good 2 or more hours. I did ok. Just like Evan when he started out, I seem to drift slightly to the left. I don't know why but I'm sure with some more practice I'll get better. Evan didn't seem to like my driving and I understand. It was really hard to be a passenger at 1st because everything is backwards and you have no control over the situation. We made it safe and sound though, booked our sailing adventure, grabbed some lunner, checked into the hostel, packed for tomorrow, found some free wifi to call Preston (who had surgery for a torn achilles last time I went out of cell range - we'll see what happens this time), and got some ice cream. I'm reading and heading to bed early so I can run and shower before we set sail tomorrow.

I survived Fraser Island!

So the pics above are of our day on Monday before the camping excitement. Evan chopped his hair off, we arrived in Rainbow Beach and we got to watch Sunday night football.

Tuesday bright and early we started our journey to Fraser Island. We watched our safety videos and learned about how to keep our food from the dingos and camp responsibly. I have to be honest...I was excited to see Fraser and had heard good things about the guided self-drive tour but as soon as I heard there were no toilets near our campsite I was very, very, very hesitant to go. (Story below). I am so glad I did!

We went in a full group of 31 people plus our guide "Mozzie." Our truck, the "A-Team" aka "Fuck off Dingos!" was 8 people: me (H), Evan (E), Nat, Kat, Laura B, Laura R, J, and Jacks. I couldn't quite figure out what Laura and Laura's nicknames were but no one seemed to use them anyway. We loaded up our truck with a small daypack each, food for 3 days (with detailed instructions), and a huge cooler full of beer, cider and "goon" (in the US this is boxed wine).

I could write a book on Fraser and the island but I'll try to keep it shorter. We drove our Land Cruiser to a barge and rode over to Fraser Island. Fraser is the largest sand island in the world with 2 fresh water lakes, fabulous creeks, treacherous surf (no swimming in the ocean) and wild dingos. The driving was done through soft sand beaches, hard sand beaches (depending on the tide) and across tracks through the island. Evan got to drive 1st and a couple more times. I think he was in heaven.

To be honest, the entire place and our few days there were unreal. Everything was gorgeous and we had such a great group I didn't mind being dirty and covered in sand and sleeping on uneven ground and without toilets from 5p.m til 9 a.m every day. The only bad/sad part were thousand of dead birds along the beaches. Apparently they hit a strong headwind on their journey from Siberia back to Tasmania and didn't make it. We saw some still in the process of dying. It was miserable but I guess natural selection at it's truest.

Our first day we saw Lake Mackenzie and explored the island a bit. Our "guide" drove a lead truck and we followed convoy style with 3 trucks behind him. I have to admit, it's pretty cool riding in a convoy and just 4WDing in general. Just before sunset we headed to set up camp. I've never been much of a camper. Our adventures in NZ were pretty much the best I've ever done with the outdoors life and we had showers and toilets and full kitchens everywhere we went. But...we all set up tents, put up a tarp roof and got to cooking our steak and potato salad dinner. Everyone helped, Evan directed and cooked what we chopped for him and it all ran wonderfully. We washed our dishes in a large pot/bucket in cool water (no soap) and no one really seemed to care much. J dug the proper hole to dispose of our cooking scraps and we then proceeded to hit the alcohol cooler.

Right after dinner, once it was dark, we had our very own dingo visitor. We shined our lights on her, clapped, yelled, covered our nipples (as per the safety video). She was not afraid of us in the least until Nat walked over and yelled "fuck off dingo!" and there she went.

Our 2nd day started and ended at Eli Creek with some champagne salt water pools and whale spotting from indian head in the middle. I have to say that the evening dunk in the creek to get some sand and grime off was incredible. Not a shower but enough to comb my hair and put on deodorant after 2 days of living outdoors which, if you didn't know, according to Laura R, could be camping or homelessness depending on where the fine line falls.

The 2nd night we chopped and Evan cooked an amazing stir-fry. We played some drinking games and even danced the macarena (yes, the whole campsite did it). My night ended with the girls from our group on the beach under an incredible moon and a sky filled with stars while eating a caramel chocolate bar split between us all. The moon was so bright we almost didn't need our flashlights and the glimmer on the ocean was like nothing I've ever seen. If I wasn't scared of a dingo eating me I could have slept there easily.

Today we hiked about 45 mins to a freshwater lake in the middle of a sand dune. Other than the wind plastering me with sand it was a perfect day. Laura R drove us back to the barge and a hot shower, shaved legs, and non-sandly clothes later I'm good as new and wouldn't mind doing it all again one day.

Back to the toilet situation...when you've got people drinking into the night chances are they are going to need a toilet. Well, we truly had none. It was us, the sand dune, the beach, and a wooded area. Given that the dingos were roaming around we decided to avoid the wooded area at night. We also decided to travel in pairs/groups. So our 1st night me, Nat, Jacks, and the Lauras had to pee. We grabbed our toilet roll and headed out to the sand dune which was the most private place we could find. Laura B said, "Here, this is how you do it. Just take your pants completely off and squat like this." And we did. Laura B fell (not while peeing) which set us all laughing AND all peeing. It was one of my greatest accomplishments...peeing in wilderness...it's a skill that has escaped me for 29.5 years and I've finally conquered it.

My family was always into hiking and it's important to be able to pee freely. I never could. The problem really was my performance anxiety. Just couldn't start. In 8th grade our class trip was camping on Mt. Cardigan (yes, I grew up in New Hampshire). When I heard we had only a hole I panicked and built a toilet seat out of a crate and a plastic toilet seat and hiked up the mountain with it. Until 2 nights ago I still was completely unable to pee freely. Even squatting over a public toilet has to be done when I truly truly have got to go.

Now, I may have to be naked from the bottom down but I can pee anywhere! Sand dunes, beaches, behind trees, even with other people around. It was a little like marking territory and, if you watch United States of Tara, I may have looked like Gimme, but I did it. Have you ever peed on a beach under moonlight and a sky filled with stars? You should try it.

Brisvegas

Yup, that's where we are..Brisbane aka Brisvegas, Queensland, Australia. We spent a night in Coolangatta on the Gold Coast after we departed Byron Bay. It was a chill beach town and we splurged in an actual hotel room that came with a buffet hot and cold breakfast and I got to do things like cut my toenails and wear a clay mask. Those things can't really be done easily in a hostel when rooms and bathrooms are shared with total strangers. Plus, I love clean bathrooms.

So now we're staying with Evan's friend Courtney and her family. They are fabulous. Courtney is showing us Brisbane and her mom is doing an excellent job feeding us. Last night Evan and I rode the CityCat (a commuter water taxi along the river running through Brisbane) to meet Courtney after work. Today I got to do some laundry (yay!) and then we went to the top of a mountain to see all of Brisbane and then Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary where we saw koalas, kangaroos, emus, platypus and even some kookaberra (sp?) which is a bird that's call sounds like a monkey. Evan finally got to cuddle a koala! We also got to see the South Bank of Brisbane for lunch and took a walk along the river.

We were all beat and decided an afternoon of mango daquiris on Courtney's patio would be fabulous. And now we're being completely spoiled and sitting on the couch watching new episodes of Southpark while her mom cooks us dinner. Sometimes it's nice to be "at home." Two more nights here and then we're off to Fraser Island camping and partying. I think this relaxation will come in handy once we get there.

I also discovered the magic of skype with webcams last night. It's one thing to email or bbm or even hear someone's voice but it's completely different to actually see someone's facial expressions and smile while you're talking to them after months of being away. Pretty cool.

Woodstock on the beach...Australia style

I think I left off as we were leaving Sydney in our lux rental car. It is very weird driving around in a brand new Toyota Camry after our "Wicked" campervan in NZ. It's almost like a whole new image and a little weird to show up at a hostel in a car that we could have easily borrowed from our parents but who's going to turn down a free upgrade?

We made it from Sydney to Port MacQuarie on our 1st day of driving and stayed at Ozzie Pozzie Backpackers. It was a cute beach town and a cute little hostel that I wouldn't have minded staying longer at if there was more to do in Port. We did make it to the Koala Hospital and saw some recovering koalas up close and personal and even some joeys getting ready for release.

From there we headed to Byron Bay and found the Arts Factory Lodge where everyone had told us to stay. We're here for 4 nights total. It is quite an interesting place...very hippie haven-ish. There are dorms, teepees, campground areas, a pool and hot tub, courtyards filled with wild turkeys and lizards and a cheap Buddha bar with fabulous happy hour specials directly across the carpark (parking lot). And there is also yoga every a.m as well as drumming and didjeridoo lessons. The hair and clothing styles here are really something and I've seen some incredible drum circles.

We can walk into town and to the beach or there is a bus that runs 24 hours from the hostel. Yesterday morning Evan and I did a great run through town and almost to the lighthouse (the hills combined with drinking the night before made the super steep climb to the lighthouse not so attractive...trying again tomorrow) and then took a small road trip through the "hinterland" to Nimbin for some more hippie-watching before settling on the beach and not moving for many hours. Today it's yoga for me and then some more beach time (I hope I miss less spots with my sunscreen today). Evan says he may take a surf lesson.

Would you like kangaroo meat on your pizza?

And we're moving on from Sydney, heading north and hoping to find some excellent beaches. Our goal is to get to Byron Bay tomorrow or Monday and then Brisbane sometime next weekend. We picked our rental car up today. Got upgraded from a Hyundai Getz to a brand-new Toyota Camry. It starts on the 1st try, it doesn't beep when we reverse and it accelerates up hills. The best part: we don't have to sleep in it. Pretty crazy, huh?

Sydney was great. We had some beautiful weather on Thursday and made our way to Manly Beach via ferry and then did a 10k walk to "The Spit." The Sydney harbor area is so nice and it was also nice to sweat and be a little warm (and to get some more color back on my skin). There were some crazy lizards just wandering the track and sitting on trees. I also bought some sunscreen and got a free lunch box cooler thingie. Score! Thursday night we ate at a Thai BYO. I don't even think twice about BYOs anymore given that Philly has tons. Evan hadn't been to one and kept his beer under the table because it felt illegal. I proudly displayed my bottle of wine on the table and proudly finished it as well.

Yesterday we had some cloudy drizzle so we attempted the koala breakfast. It wasn't on and Evan was kind of sad. I'm sure we'll get to hug koalas soon enough. Instead we went to the Sydney Wildlife World place and the Aquarium. The wildlife place was very cool and I learned all about Australia's poisonous lizards/snakes/spiders ants. Lovely. Even better was seeing real live koalas and kangaroos and a huge crocodile (who apparently didn't mate in captivity because he kept killing all the lady crocs he met). The aquarium would have been better if it wasn't filled with hundreds of waist-high school kids.

We tried out the Inner West neighborhoods last night for dinner/drinks. Met a bartender from NY who hates the Phillies...and the Red Sox. Oops! He was nice to us anyway though and hooked me up with a fantastic cheese plate and Evan with some Australian beer (no, not Fosters). I honestly think my greatest skills are wine drinking and eating (esp sweets and anything with cheese).

After making a rough plan for our drive today and agreeing to meet at 7 this a.m to run, we went to our hostel rooms. Although I should have just chilled so I wouldn't die on my 1st run in 6 weeks, I ended up wandering around with the Irishman (Eoin = Owen) and Tom and joined them in their quest for a pizza. They acquired this pizza at a Kebab house and decided to get the supreme and, in case it wasn't enough, they added jalapenos, extra cheese and kangaroo. Despite their peer pressure, I did not try the kangaroo. I may. But maybe not at a kebab house.

After the kangaroo pizza walk we found all the other guys playing drinking games in the room and they successfully peer pressured me into going to the hostel bar with them. It was worth it. The dancing that went on down there was priceless. No one was on the same beat, one girl was doing a strip tease, and a young asian man was practicing some quality ballet moves (I'm not sure if it was intentional or not).

I did successfully wake up this morning with enough time to skype (yes, in Australia thus far the computers are fast enough that I can skype) with Preston and gchat with Kiran and Dorothee before running a great 4ish miles, including sprinting the opera house steps and feeling like I could run plenty more in the end...even in my Payless sneakers and dealing with Evan's long strides (although he did slow a bit for me). Vegas 1/2 marathon in December looks like it could be a reality depending on the finances.

And that's about it. I'm beach ready, I've got clean underwear and I'm back to running. Australia is good with me.

Oh...and FYI, the law firm I quit, cut the hours of 1/2 the secretaries to half-time, ended up laying one secretary off and also let 1 lawyer go. Looks like I got out of there just in time.

I'm not cold, I'm in a city, sleeping in a bed (with a pillow) and it's sunny. Have I died and gone to heaven?

I'd like to emphasize that it's lovely to sleep in a bed. Evan and I are not in the same room at the hostel and apparently people think that's weird. Honestly...we just finished 5 weeks of living in a van together. A few doors apart won't kill us and I have some cool roommates.

It was sunny-ish and warm yesterday. WARM! We walked around Sydney, saw the bridge and the opera house and even took a boat to Cockatoo Island which is kind of like Alcatraz. Sadly, there were no Cockatoos BUT there were tons of baby seagulls (and angry mama seagulls threatening us for getting too close to their hatchlings).

It did rain a bit last night which had me worried but we found a cool tapas bar in the Surry Hills area and by the time we were done the rain had stopped. One problem is that Evan and I brought no "fancy" clothes and dinner here seems quite dressed up. We've decided just to ignore it and hope things get more laid back on the beaches.

Today we woke up to perfect weather. We hopped on a ferry to Manly Beach (yes, manly) and are hanging out here until we do a 3-4 hour coastal walk back to the city. The waves are so big here compared to the Atlantic and especially compared to the Mediterranean but the water is chilly. It just feels good to be warm, almost hot.

Supposedly it might rain tomorrow. Sucks. The good news is that there is an aquarium and Evan really wants to do a koala breakfast (this is not a joke, that's the 1st thing he said to me yesterday a.m).

I do know that I'm getting running sneaks on our way back to the hostel tonight now that I've scoped out some stores and prices. I cannot wait to "pound the pavement" as they say and allegedly I may be running a 1/2 marathon in Vegas on December 5th (or watching Kiran run while I drink). We'll see!

Today's blog is brought to you by the letters V and Q and the number 23.

We made it to Sydney and the weather is a huge relief. It was about 23 celsius (or about 73F). So nice! We had a couple kinks in our travel. First, we didn't realize we needed a visa to go to Australia. Luckily we took care of that one at the airport. Next, apparently all of our contact with NZ soil/water/farm animals could have earned us a big old quarantine. Luckily we were able to talk our way through the red tape and slid right on through.

We're staying in a huge hostel in central Sydney. Somehow I'm in a room full of guys from England and Ireland. I'm not sure where Evan is to be honest but hopefully he can fill me in tomorrow. Justin, one of the guys in my room, showed Evan and I where to get some cheap food and beer and we decided to call it an early night until we learn the city tomorrow.

Justin did tell us that he went to university at Birmingham, UK and, based on the wire, he guesses Birmingham is like Baltimore. Love. It.

In just a few short hours tonight I confirmed that I'm a city girl. Throw in a beach and even better. I think Australia is going to be my kind of place.

Sorry, no Mexican food on Mondays. That's his day off.

Dear New Zealand, Thanks for the memories. I'm not your biggest fan but I'll see you again in 1 month. Make it good. Love, Heather.

Yes. Finally. We are about to spend our last night in our campervan and fly to Sydney, Australia tomorrow. It should be sunny, it should be warmer, and there should be people there who leave their houses/campers/tents past 5p.m. My back hurts. I'm bored to death. And if I have to deal with anymore rain and/or freezing cold I'm getting on the next plane back to Philly.

We had some good fun here: the glacier, the caves, the crazy paced hikes, the non-stop lamb viewing. But seriously, NZ, WTF do you people do here!? It rains more than the Amazon and everything closes no later than 6p.m. Cities look like ghost towns. Towns are completely deserted. The prices for everything are outrageous so even if things were open you couldn't afford it anyway. I really, really hope Queenstown in November makes up for the last 5 weeks otherwise Lonely Planet is getting a nice letter regarding who paid them off to be so super hype about this place.

We went to Taupo to sky dive and it rained. We drove to Rotorua to see if the weather was better and it was dead empty (apparently public toilets are not necessary on Sundays) and still too cloudy for sky diving. So we drove to Waihi Beach to spend some time there before heading to Auckland to turn in the campervan and fly out. Waihi Beach was nice...until it started POURING in the middle of the night last night and the temp dropped a good 10 degrees celsius. So we fled there to head to Auckland where it was still raining and cold. The city was DEAD. We're talking major city, 2p.m. on a Monday and no one in the streets. Insane. We drove back to the suburb where we're RVing it for 1 last night, saw yet another movie and exited into a mall that was closing...at 6p.m. And yeah, that's the norm across this country. Even restaurants were closing. Totally nuts.

We found one spot, a Mexican restaurant and figured we should go for it. They even have 2 for 1 coronas from 5 to 7 every night. Yeah, except no Mexican food on Mondays...it's "his" (I'm guessing the only Mexican in NZ?) day off. And so it was frozen pizzas, soon to be followed up with chocolate cake, for our last night here.

To be honest, I'm just proud of myself for making it this far.

New Zealand weather thwarts our plans again aka why we're not sky diving

Yup, it's true. Due to yet another few days of rain there will be no sky diving for us tomorrow and, sadly, probably not til we're back in NZ in November. It's ok though. There is a light at the end of the tunnel known as Australia. We're almost there.

Today we drove from Waitomo to Taupo. Once we realized the weather sucked we grabbed lunch, went for a walk along the river and then drove around the lake for a bit. Follow that with some pasta and sauce and chocolate mud cake (and a bottle of wine for me) and you've got a pretty good day.

So yeah, tomorrow (Oct 9th) is 5 years since my brother Jason's accident and death. It's hard to believe it's been that long. I haven't talked about it with Evan yet. Honestly I've never talked about it with him but I hope we decide to do something to remember Jason. I have so many questions for Evan. They were so much closer than I was/am with either of them but that door has never been opened to me and I'm not about to barge my way in. One day.

I spent some time today on our walk remembering Jason's voice and laugh and even remembering when I found out. It's all a little "out of body" (like I'm watching myself from afar) but I don't want to forget any of it.

If he's out there somewhere I hope he's watching us on this trip and knows that it would be heaps (as they say in NZ) better if he were here.

I hope my parents are ok. This is the 1st time we haven't been together this weekend. Despite my hurt over what they think of me right now I love them and miss them and know that this weekend is hardest for them in a way I may never understand.

Floating under maggots with glowing poo (as they say in NZ)

We've had a busy couple of days here on the north island. We spent a night right outside Egmont National Park at a place called The Missing Leg. We slept in the van but the place had an excellent lodge with a wood stove and comfy couches. It was great. Yesterday morning we did a hike on Mt. Taranaki (it's actually a volcano). The hike was supposed to be 5 hours round trip. At Evan's pace, or actually slightly slower because I decided not to die, we did it in 3 hours.

After that we drove to Waitomo Caves. It's beautiful but, as you can tell from the above "upcoming events" sign...not much going on.

Today we spiced it up, big time. Here in Waitomo Caves are the Waitomo Caves (figures, eh?). We set up a "black abyss" tour into the caves which happen to be filled with glow worms. Any one remember glow worms from the late 80s? The toys? Yeah, not those (although I'm totally going to look for mine in the attic). These "glow worms" are actually the larvae of the fungus gnat (larvae of flys = maggots) and as they hang from the top of the caves and glow like stars in the night sky the glowing is actually a chemical reaction with their waste (poo) which, in turn, helps them attract more prey. That being said, they are pretty freakin cool. Oh, and apparently the water in the caves - filled with rats and eels. Luckily we didn't see any of those.

So our tour began with a ridiculous wetsuit and gum boot (like galoshes) outfit. We then repelled about 110 feet down a hole in the ground. That was followed by a brief walk and then a flying fox (zip line) through a cave in the pitch black filled with glow worms. Then they gave us a small snack, handed us some floating tubes and directed us to jump, ass-in-tube first, off a cliff down about 10-15 feet into the freezing cold water. We then pulled ourselves upstream for a ways (still ass-in-tube) and floated gently down in pitch black under glow worms.

From there we abandoned our tubes and began walking (falling), swimming, and floating through the caves sometimes in the dark and sometimes lit only by our helmet lamps. We slid over a waterfall, jumped off a waterfall, rock climbed up 3 waterfalls, crawled on elbows and knees through tiny muddy passages (during which Evan said "I feel like I'm back in 'nam"), and slid down a couple small cliffs. Even with the freezing cold water it was awesome!

And now it's sunny and springtime-like. This is the New Zealand I came for.

My hair 911 and some New Zealand observations

So right before bed last night I realized that my hair clay stuff was missing. Fuuuuck. I'm impatiently waiting for my hair to grow back and the last thing I need is for it to look worse than I already feel it does. I figured out what happened...when we got to the movies last night (we saw "The Other Guys") I went to grab some shoes and my toiletries fell out of the van. Apparently the hair product took off and I didn't notice. So this a.m we swung by the same parking lot. After looking under an entire row of cars, looking like a fool I'm sure squat-thrusting my way down the row, I was out of luck. I told Evan I was just going to run in and get "something." Well, isn't it just my luck that the 1st place in the mall had my exact product!?! Apparently Fudge products are made in Australia and quite common here in NZ as well. Phew! I followed up my mini-miracle with acquiring "The Time Traveler's Wife" to read (none of my friends' recommended books were in stock) AND got a cappuccino for the road. Score.

So the weather is finally decent now that we're on the north island. I was actually too warm at some points today as we drove from Wellington to Egmont National Park. It was a loooong drive but not too bad.

I've noticed 1 thing here in NZ that I keep forgetting to write about: political ads. In the states most political signs just have the candidate's name and maybe slogan. If any pic or image of the candidate is used they always look incredible, trustworthy, together. Here in NZ, almost all political signs have pictures of the candidate. The other difference? The candidates look like they just finished hiking on a windy day or shearing sheep in the field. I don't get it. Maybe in NZ it's the "farmer-next-door" who wins elections? It's just struck me, and Evan, as odd this entire trip.

Something I've noticed in our 24 hours on the north island: Maori people. The Maori are native New Zealanders and I would compare their appearance most to south pacific islanders. We saw virtually none on the south island. Up here there are many. Despite the country's attempt to use Maori words and incorporate their tradition into the country's history I have noticed that the Maori are like "minorities" or the under-priviledged in the states. At the nice sidewalk cafe we had lunch at today there were zero Maori eating there. Instead, I saw some playing music for money down the street and working at gas stations and small corner shops and I heard a radio report of a rape by a man who is "Maori or south pacific islander." Additionally, there seems to be an obesity issue among the Maoris which is common in the states among those who cannot afford quality food. So make of it what you will...this was just my social observation for the day.

Tomorrow we're doing a morning hike on Mt. Taranaki and then driving up to Waitomo Caves so we can absail, black water raft and see glow worms the nest day. Oh, and did I mention I'm sky diving in Taupo? October 9th is the day which, to me at least, is fitting. I'll dedicate my jump to Jason...5 years since his accident.

Kiwis (the birds) don't exist and other thoughts

We're still in Abel Tasman about to head to Picton and catch the ferry to the north island. Wrapping up our time on the south island of New Zealand has been good. A couple days ago we took a nice quiet walk along to coast and yesterday we did a full day ocean kayaking tour. (I really wish I could have gotten you all some pics of our kayaking day, especially our outfits but you'll have to wait til I upload the pics from my camera). We saw goats and I spotted a starfish on a rock and of course, lots of seals. Sadly...no sheep.

This national park is beautiful and we've been lucky to have some warmer sunny weather. I even got a bit of color back yesterday. I'm proud to say that I think I'm going to survive New Zealand. I still don't like getting out of showers into the cold air or my middle-of-the-night walks to the bathroom but we've got 8 days to go, 7 of which will be on the north island and jam packed with caves, glow worms, hiking and sky diving (finally!). We may even fit in some SCUBA.

I had some thinking time on our walk the other day and I've come to some conclusions. First, the kiwi bird does not exist. We have been here for almost 4 weeks and we have not seen one. Not even a picture of one except corny cartoonish drawings on shopping bags or "kiwi zone" signs or even the McDonalds flag. I don't buy that they're nocturnal or that dogs and possums are reducing their numbers...I haven't even seen one at a wildlife/bird sanctuary. In conclusion, the much cherished and protected kiwi bird is really a myth.

I also thought about the original theme of my travels and my goals and realized that I need to refocus. "Letting go" of little daily things has gotten easier and I rarely have to think about it. Plans get messed up, Evan snaps at me (which is rare but seems to be happening more lately), wifi on my phone is acting up so I lose a call a million times...I just breathe and move on.

Even some of the more important stuff has gotten easier. Evan isn't very talkative and hasn't really wanted to hit bars or anything at night. At first I thought it must be me...I'm not as cool as he thinks his friends are or I'm just his big annoying sister. It bugged me. But at this point there really isn't anything I can do about it other than be me and accept that this is how it is and hopefully in Australia we will get to meet some people to hang out with along the way and break the monotony of our duo.

The bigger things though...I just can't quiet my head as much as I'd like to. When I went to that yoga class last week it was so nice to have 1.5 hours of mental quiet where all I thought about was the position of my body. I've been trying to focus on keeping my shoulders down and open and on the posture of my spine because it feels better and gives me something to focus my mind on. Still...not doing as well as I'd like.

I'm already planning things in my head for when I get home in 6ish weeks. How clean is the house? What am I going to do with my hair? Can I tailgate for the Eagles game on Nov 21st and still make it to the airport to pick Preston up? (Speaking of the Eagles...as I write this they are apparently getting killed by the Redskins...Vick is hurt, McCoy is hurt. I thought my toiletries exploding on a hot dashboard yesterday or dropping a jar of peanut butter on my left big toe this a.m was bad!)

I also mull over and over in my head about where I'm going after I'm done with this trip. I miss working. I am discouraged by the time and effort I've put into my job search, even while traveling, and that I've come up with almost nothing. A couple of interviews, an out-of-the-blue job offer that came 2 days too late, and that's about it. I love being a lawyer. I'm not ready to just throw it away but I also know that I'm not willing to get back on a career track that doesn't get me where I want to go.

I have an outstanding coffee invite with the out-of-the-blue boss. I have a great idea for how I can fill a niche in the legal field that might give me a bit of income, and potentially a lot of income, once I get it up and running. I have some LLM programs to apply for but still no guarantee that will get me a job or be what I want (it's more a career move and not something I'm totally invested in at this point). And I have Susan who hopefully will help find me some temp work (since I'm apparently a great receptionist with a sweet phone voice) while I work it all out.

What do I want to do? Right now my gut says that I want to teach abroad. I love traveling, I love exploring, I've always loved teaching from the bit of volunteer work I've done and I've talked to some people who have made it work for them in a great way. I've started researching and hope I can work out the logistics (i.e obligations in the states, my house, moving my cats). It just feels like the best fit for what I want professionally and personally. We'll see...I just wish I could limit the amount of time and brain power I'm dedicating to this. Where is the line between working on it and obsessing over it?

I've also been dealing with some personal disappointments. I can be a little guarded at times. I don't often confide everything or say as much as I want to in relationships - romantic or just with friends - because I've had the rug ripped out from under my feet way too many times. Blogging has helped me open up a bit. Having some solid friends has as well.

Meeting Preston helped as well. Finally not having to deal with games or fit into a tiny box of expectations allowed me to unintentionally go in with my wall down. It's crazy though how the smallest things can happen that make my defenses come shooting up. Watching from my "let go" perspective it's like I can see where past battle wounds play out in my head where they have no business being but addressing them and setting them free is harder than I'd like.

And, finally, my parents. I don't think I've updated much since the Amsterdam face-off but let's just say the situation has deteriorated. In discussing the situation Preston said, "I don't understand. From day one you spoke of your parents so highly. Where did all this come from?" I just keep wondering that over and over in my head...how did the people who have always supported me and told me I can do anything I set my mind to turn into my biggest naysayers when I need their support and advice the most? Maybe they are really Philly sports fans?

I've always kept a bit of myself private from my parents. I didn't always tell them the work I put in to finding a job, just the end result (which, until recently, was always positive). I haven't always told them about every guy I've met along the way (they've met 3: my high school boyfriend (who they love using as an example as to my failed dating life...sorry, I didn't chose well at age 16), my ex husband and Keem)...mostly because 90% never go anywhere or are crazy in their own special ways. I wasn't guarded per se but I just wanted them to be proud of me.

My dad always told me 2 things: (1) you should never wake up and feel like you're going to "work" and (2) as a strong, intelligent woman you can achieve anything you want. (He also told me that crying solves nothing and my therapist, when I had one, seemed to think that played a part in my internalizing emotions and fear of being vulnerable or weak).

So now that I haven't told them of each and every job I've applied for or gotten into my full thought out plans moving forward in whichever direction I choose (mostly because they say NO before I can)...I am immature, careless, irresponsible. I wouldn't have anything without them (trust me, the minute I can give them their down payment money back from my house and pay them back for my car (which I thought was a gift) it's done) and if I don't find myself a rich husband I need to reevaluate my career plans.

And since I haven't told them about every guy I've met they've decided that I insist on dating "losers" who aren't "intelligent" and that they don't understand why I'm trying to "go back to the ghetto" when Jews have tried to move away from there for generations.

Yeah, I didn't tell them about the dentist a friend tried to set me up with who invited me, via gchat, to his jacuzzi before ever hearing my voice and, when I declined, I never heard from him again. Or the engineer/MMA fighter who freaked out on me every time we talked and then contacted me the next day like nothing happened. Or the worldly MBA student who snorted coke with his friends and partied every night and I decided that wasn't the life for me. And there have been countless others...if you know me, you know this. I could write a book.

Apparently it's not up for discussion because in person they yell and insult me and the people in my life, via email (yes, I sent them an email longer than this blog entry) I "have an attitude." So my parents, my role models, my support structure...apparently as mythical as the kiwi bird.

My brother fell into quicksand and I almost wet my pants

Oh boy...today was like Princess Bride, New Zealand edition. It started off peaceful enough. It's sunny and kinda warm. I drank my coffee looking at the ocean and then we started our drive to Farewell Spit - the "hook" at the northwest corner of NZ's south island.

It was low tide when we got there so we decided to walk out to the end of the spit (a long narrow piece of land covered mostly by beach and sand dunes with some vegetation). As we walked along, I was searching for shells and told Evan about the time in law school when I got 3 hermit crabs: Princess Buttercup (the little one), Inyigo Montoya (the medium one), and Fezic (no idea how to spell that, the huge one). Unfortunately Fezic killed and dismembered Princess Buttercup and I couldn't have murderers in my apartment so I disposed of Inyigo and Fezic down the trash chute (I still feel guilty to this day).

Evan turned around and said "I think someone is following us!" I looked back and realized they were AND they were gaining on us so I replied "Inconceivable!"

We walked a bit more and decided to head up and explore the sand dune. It was crazy and beautiful up there as we crossed it to get to the other side. When we got to that beach we encountered the crazy NZ sand. I don't know how to explain it. It looks like that hard wet-ish sand that you walk on as the tide goes out but for some reason, in some spots, you just sink in for a few inches. It makes it really hard to walk.

So, we're walking along and I'm thinking "man, I should have stopped in the ladies room before this walk." Suddenly Evan yells "Help! It's quicksand!" I look over and he's knee deep in muck. Every time he moved he got deeper. He's yelling: "Throw a rope! Wait, take a picture. Oh god...I'll never get out!" And I'm trying to get my camera and look for a convenient vine to dive in and rescue him (like they did in the fire swamp quicksand) all while crossing my legs because I was dying laughing and trying not to wet my pants.

Unfortunately there was only a small twig available on the sand dune. I did get some great pics of him almost waist-deep in the sand and he was able to free himself. Luckily, I did not wet my pants. I'm still cracking up just writing about it.

After that we grabbed some lunch and some ice cream and drove through some crazy hills and vegetation to get to another beach with orange sand. It was all pretty incredible and were it not for the sandflies we'd probably still be sitting there.

I can't believe it's October! Just 11 more days until Australia sunshine. :)